And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You smell like stripper and shame
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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