Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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