Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
