He is such a slut. More and more my type.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
