well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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