so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
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beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
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Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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