Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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