You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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