And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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