Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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