Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
