I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
