i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
