He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
