Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
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threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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