There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
3pm strippers are depressing
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
