I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
