I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
