Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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