dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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