I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
