i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
