Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize