Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
should my penis look like a turkey
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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