the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
