I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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