i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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