she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize