When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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