im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
