He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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