Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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