in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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