we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
