check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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