Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
