he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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