its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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