Your tits are I can't wait for
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
