He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
