What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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