Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
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I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
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I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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