wanna go halves on a baby?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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