What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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