Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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