hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
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dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
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Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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