Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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