I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
