Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
