R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize