So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
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I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
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how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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