I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Alive.
So much puke
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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