i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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