should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
