Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
