I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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