pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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