i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
