Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
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Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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