did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize