STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Apparently you make a good broom.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
