We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
