His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
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No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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