Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
