So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
