i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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